I found it fitting for my life. I've been reading the Nienie Dialogues on and off for a couple of years. But lately I've found so much inspiration in Stephanie's words. I look forward to reading her blog every day. What an amazing soul!
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Lately I've been having a pity party some days and other's just downright blue. I've got what appears to be tendinitis in both of my wrists and hands. It's affecting just about every aspect of my life. And for those who know me, they know I love my job as an Editor and to paint, garden, and sew in my spare time.
For too long I worked through the pain or ignored it until the swelling didn't go away. (I ignored this for 6 months!) Suddenly I couldn't pin a piece of fabric or put a fork to my own mouth without wincing. And lately, as it's become worse, I'll stand at the kitchen sink after Al and Samantha have gone off to rehearsal and Alyssa is playing and I'll silently cry. Everyday tasks have become so challenging. Making dinner that includes cut up vegetables, gardening, and vacuuming have become impossible.
This weekend, I asked Al if he would mind trimming the tree with some direction from me. I'm usually the determined, get-it-done-now gal, but I've had to walk away from the things I enjoy and let them be. Can I just tell you how hard that is!
I'm learning, both at home and in my job, how to let go. It's difficult for me and sometimes I feel inadequate. But it's also humbling to realize how important and significant hands, feet, etc. are to our lives. Right now I'm leaning on Al and, thankfully, he's not resentful. After all, I've taken care of him too.
At some point every day lately I find myself on the brink of tears whether it's the pain or simply that I'd like to sweep the kitchen floor. My kids are learning to fold the laundry, clean the bathroom, and generally be helpful without complaint. And for them and Al, I am grateful.
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