Thrift stores can be awesome and my family sure loves them. We visit our local thrift stores at least once a month. We have two locally that we support: the hospital thrift store and our local community pantry thrift store. We donate and we buy (a lot).

My parents love to shop furniture because they like to refinish the pieces for resale. I have a small house so I buy what I will use. But we buy books mostly. And truthfully we have a lot unread; but when I ask my kids if they want to go to Pat's they get so exited. They don't care about anything else in that shop except for the books.

Our little library

If we're lucky we find old library books or an entire series. I picked up 32 Magic Treehouse books over two months and recently the library a county over gave up a series of Cynthia Rylant early readers: Poppleton and Mr. Putter and Tabby. I think I picked up about 15 of those.

Samantha tried reading the Magic Treehouse series, but it just didn't interest her. So when I found out that one of Samantha's classmates was having difficulty learning to read I gave his mother the entire series with the hope that it might interest him. One day he came up to me and told me how much he loved the books. At first his mother read them to him and slowly he started sharing in the reading until he was on his own. He couldn't wait to read through them all.

Alyssa is at the cusp of learning to read so early readers like Biscuit are becoming very important in our house. And reading an entire series of books that have a common character appear to be what will interest Alyssa the most.

My husband used to moan and groan about the constant influx of books, but he's finally given that up. He sees the excitement in the girls' eyes when they surround themselves with books. And when our interest has waned we bag them up and donate them right back to where they came from.

Sometimes I don't say "no." I just don't say anything at all.

After our busy theatrical weekends and early Sunday shows, we get Sunday evenings to relax and enjoy dinner as a family. To say this hasn't taken a toll on Alyssa would be a lie. Kids, as we know, are resilient. Two weeks ago Alyssa sobbed in the middle in the of Mass wanting to go home to daddy. And this week, she wanted nothing more than a good 'ol wrestling match and time with her sissy.

We don't, as a general rule, let the kids play on our bed. All of our bedding is white simply out of necessity. (I change the color of anything cotton--I think I figured out that my body absorbs blue dye.) But we let the girls wrestle on our bed for an hour. We had all the sliding doors open so we could hear their giggling from the kitchen. They were so happy. I didn't want to say "no" to that. We eventually had to break it up for bed time, but those are the things I love to let go of for the simple reason that the kids are happy. They both needed that.


Someone else is also needing a little one-on-one with all the chaos. Ginger likes it when the kids are in bed and she can just cuddle next to me. She fell asleep, snoring while I wound down after our weekend. She's been misbehaving a lot to the point where I have to mute the phone or ask to put someone on hold while I work to deal with the mayhem in the house. Just like kids, cats need undivided attention too. ;)

We saw Shrek the Musical again today with my parents and my brother and sister-in-law who came down from San Francisco to watch. (Thank you to my supportive family!). As were watching the show and laughing at my husband, my brother leaned over and said, "I don't think this is the last time Al will be on stage."

I'm sure it's not. And I've been struggling with it. It's been a lot for me to handle having both Al and Samantha in the musical. Monday through Thursday nights they were gone most of three months. Sure, I didn't know what to expect and I really stressed about keeping Samantha healthy, but some days it was so difficult for me. I'm not sure if it was my own health issues or just worry/stress, but I haven't had the easiest time.

For one, almost our entire summer went out the window. We haven't had a vacation day together all summer and school starts in less than 4 weeks. And right into Nutcracker and ballet and school fundraisers, and footballs season (Al coaches). That last sentence doesn't so much matter, but the no summer time off together has really bothered me this year.

I feel a shift, not with life in general, but within me. Maybe it's my health, maybe it's my girls growing up, maybe it has to be the mirror in front of me that I put there, but I've really been struggling this summer to reorient myself in my family. I feel like it's all moving too fast, like I'm not present enough in my girls' lives, like I want to be a better wife. And for those who know me well know that that the last bit about being "a better wife" is the key. It's not that my feminism is gone, but that it's shifting.

I want to watch my girls play mom without watching them focusing on mom-work. I'd rather watch them play as doting mothers and wives. Craziness, isn't it?!

And so today, when my brother said that Al wasn't finished with the stage, he was right. And after 11 years in this small town he's making life-long friends, meeting people, and finally feels like this town is his home. And I want him to feel that, I want him to be happy here with us and have a passion.

And maybe it's time for me to be the doting wife and mother. My job isn't going away, but it doesn't need to define me. I want to play silly with my girls, make an amazing dinner for my family, and spend more time alone with my husband.

Today was chaotic and stressful. I started my first dose of a two-week cycle of prednisone in the last ditch attempt to get rid of the swelling in my hands. I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep tonight and that just isn't good because my mind will wander and I'll worry . . .

We met with Samantha's pediatric gastroenterologist today to discuss her chronic reflux and issues related to aspirating. Since 2010 I have charted that every summer she winds up with a bacterial infection in her lungs just days after swim lessons. We give her a high dose of prednisone for a few days and then taper along with antibiotics and a concoction of inhalers. Last year it was the worst yet and the poor kid started second grade on 60 mg of prednisone. She was an emotional wreck.

But it happened again this year like clockwork. Although we got on top of it within hours of the second cough, it still took three weeks to stop. And this time we noticed the prednisone had no effect, which meant there was something else going on.

Today the doctor politely said that we should have done an endoscopy three years ago. We were all hoping that Samantha would outgrow this, however. So next week we see an ENT to check her adenoids. And depending on what the ENT sees we will have an endoscopy within a few weeks with or without an adenoidectomy.

The results of the endoscopy will then determine if Samantha has to do a PH pump study and/or if she'll need surgery to tighten her esophageal sphincter.

It's all so scary. I don't even want to have my child put under for the endoscopy. But then if we can fix all this we may be able to get rid of the cases of Pulmicort, Xoponex, containers of steroids, and the bottles of antibiotics she takes every year. It could change her life . . . I have to keep that in perspective.

Shrek the Musical went really well this weekend. Alyssa and I handed out programs on Saturday night and Sunday morning. We watched Saturday night, although I was surprised Alyssa managed to stay up until 10.

The show was a hoot. It was so energetic the entire 2.5 hours that it kept Alyssa engaged the whole time. The young lady who plays Donkey was so good that she out shined Shrek a bit.

Al was funny as Thelonius. He played two other parts as well, but I liked his Thelonius personality best. And Samantha was so cute as Little Bo Peep.

After the first show the director told Samantha that she was great and should keep it up and next time she'll get a bigger part. Samantha was a bit confused as to why the director told her that. She didn't think she was doing anything different. But I saw what the director saw . . . Samantha danced and sang her heart out during her ensemble parts. I think something changes in Samantha when there is an audience in front of her.

The ladies who sat in front of us on Saturday night noticed Samantha too. Out of all the kids in the ensemble cast she was a standout for her enthusiasm. And on Saturday night, after Alyssa and I had gone home, a lady came up to Samantha and said that she loved Samantha's enthusiasm. The lady gave her three flowers. She felt so special.

Right before the 4th of July Alyssa was complaining that her chest hurt. Thinking it was somehow related to "sympathy pains" since Samantha had bronchitis again, I brushed it off. But she didn't stop complaining. Then she said it hurt when she got out of bed. I figured I better get it taken care of.

Now, here is why all my high school back injuries help out--I felt her chest and it felt like a rib was out of place a bit. So I made an appointment to see the chiropractor. After the first visit to fix her twisted vertebrae (the cause of all the chest pain) she was remarkably well. She said it felt all better by the next morning.

I got to thinking about a lot of people who don't know about chiropractors, don't know that they can treat children, or think of them as quacks. The alternative would have taken a visit to the pediatrician, x-rays, and goodness knows what else, and it may not have been fixed. Think about all the money you'd have to spend on said doctor's visits, x-rays, etc.

There was no back cracking here, but a little trigger thingy (technical term) that the chiropractor used to help adjust her. It was gentle and there was no anxiety. Alyssa felt so well she asked when she could go back.

When I grew up it was with my little brother and two cousins--we did a lot together. Then we became young adults and my cousins moved away. My brother hasn't had any kids and while my cousins did, they lived halfway across the country. So my girls haven't had the exposure to cousins.

One of my cousins has moved back to our small town with his wife and two boys. And we stopped by to meet the boys--it's been nearly 10 years since I've seen their dad. The kids were not at all shy and were fast friends. They're fairly close in age: 9, 8, 7, and 5, so it's a good match-up.

We stayed only for a few minutes since they were still unpacking their moving van, but the girls couldn't wait to go back and play.

I tried to explain how we were related, but at this age they don't get it. They can't imagine me or my cousin as kids. One thing they do understand, however, is family.