I've been thinking a lot about "Work-Life Balance," which should be called "Life" balance because there is always work in life.

Like so many parents, I struggle with that life balance, between what is required and what I want. I've been far luckier than a lot of people because I have flexibility in my work schedule where I can be a library helper once a month or drive on the occasional field trip.

I'm still a tired mother. I grumble sometimes and on stressful days I wish I could quit my job, but truthfully I'd miss it tremendously.

I've been trying to step back, outside myself a bit, and think about how I want to live my life, how I want to engage my children. For example, I know it's easier to make pumpkin bread by myself, but they get such joy out of helping and I find little ways to teach my girls things like measuring math skills. And they take such pride in what they've accomplished.

I'm learning to let the dust bunnies sit a extra few days so that I can do a messy Halloween craft with the kids. And I feel better about it. I feel happier with the time I get to spend with them and, more than that, the quality of the time I spend with them.

And I want to them to look at me and feel happy, not resentful or neglected. I want them to know I love them and that they're wonderful, beautiful children.

Okay, that title sounds worse than it really is. I'm a Halloween hater, or maybe I was. I really can't find the draw in spending oodles of money on costumes that are worn for one day. I did like Halloween when I was a child, but I got to go door to door and get candy. Unless one had a phobia of candy or strangers, I can't imagine a kid who didn't love Halloween. So how did I get here?

Eight years ago, Al was working late on Halloween. I had to open the door and hand out candy to kids--never my favorite thing. A group of rather rambunctious boys came to the door and decided to have a wrestling match on my front porch. I opened the door to hand out the candy and they pushed and shoved to be first. They pushed me back into the house and then proceeded to wrestle in my living room! I was furious. I had to yell at them to stop--of course the parents weren't with them--and to get out of my house. They thought they were tough. They cussed and then proceeded to stomp all over my newly planted flower bed, kick the garage door, and attempted to break a porch light.

Now, do you blame me for hating Halloween?!? I'm still a curmudgeon. I refuse to hand out candy. I turn off all the outside lights. I put a note on my door that says "No tricks and No treats!" I have allowed my children to go door to door, but only for two blocks. They are young still and don't know that I may be cheating them out of the whole experience. But I'm not one to break that silence.

However, in the last two years, I've learned to open up a little bit at a time. This year Alyssa is getting ready for the first Halloween she'll remember. And she's already practicing playing the part. I can't deny her that.